Preparing for Divorce: 5 Things to Do Before You…

October 27, 2019August 13, 2020
by Angie

Preparing for divorce is tough – especially if you’ve never been through this type of split before and don’t know what to expect. You can make things easier on yourself by talking to a Stockton divorce lawyer before you file; during your initial consultation, you can ask specific questions, find out how the process works and what you can expect. From there, your attorney will walk you through the entire process.

In the meantime, here’s what you need to know about preparing for divorce.

Preparing for Divorce: 5 Things You Need to Do Before You File

Check out these five things you need to do as you prepare to divorce your spouse:

Build your support network
Commit to staying civil
Stay focused on your goal
Organize your finances
Be ready to negotiate

Let’s take a closer look at each.

#1. Build your support network

Divorce is tough, and dealing with it alone makes it that much harder. While your attorney can give you legal advice, you may need someone to give you personal advice or help you learn new coping strategies to deal with the stresses you’re facing every day. Family and friends can be great resources when you need divorce support – and don’t forget that you can always talk to a divorce counselor or therapist, too. (And so can your kids!)

Related: Divorce tips

#2. Commit to staying civil

You’re more likely to get what you want out of your divorce if you commit to staying civil with your spouse – and if you have children, civility is a necessity. You and your spouse will continue to parent your kids long into the future, which means you have to at least refrain from verbally attacking each other when you communicate. We’re not saying that you have to get along with your ex, but you do have to try to be polite and willing to negotiate throughout the process.

#3. Stay focused on your goal

If you’re like most people, your main goal is to make it through your divorce with a reasonably satisfying outcome. You don’t want the whole world, but you don’t want to settle for less than you deserve from your marriage, either. Keep your eye on the fact that your divorce will be over in time – sooner if you and your spouse reach agreements on your own – and that you can begin moving forward right now.

#4. Organize your finances

Divorce is a big financial change for most people. Whether one of you stayed home and cared for the children or you both worked during your marriage, you’re likely going to see some changes in your bank accounts. One spouse may have to pay the other child support and spousal support, and you may need to part with some of your assets to pay off your joint debts. You’ll be more successful if you organize your finances now, while you’re still preparing for divorce. That may mean:

Opening bank accounts and lines of credit in only your name
Removing your name from bank accounts and lines of credit you share with your spouse
Getting a job
Learning what assets and debts you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse have
Gathering documentation on all your assets and debts to share with your attorney

You should definitely talk to your attorney before you take any major steps (like getting a job or quitting a job), and you should never drain joint financial accounts.

#5. Be ready to negotiate

As you prepare for divorce, know that legally, what you’re doing is dissolving a marriage contract. That means you’ll have to go through a negotiation process to get what you want from the divorce. Be ready for give-and-take when it comes to dividing your property (California is a community property state, so you’ll have to divide the assets you accumulated while you were married) – and when it comes to child custody, too. The judge won’t approve your plans unless they’re fair to everyone involved.

Do You Need to Talk to an Attorney About Preparing for Divorce?

If you’re preparing for divorce, we may be able to help you. Call us right away at (209) 546-6870 or get in touch with a Stockton divorce attorney online to schedule a consultation today.

Divorce

Divorce Tips for Moms

October 22, 2019August 13, 2020
by Angie

Your top priority is doing what’s best for your children – and as a mom, that carries over into every aspect of your life. Are you working too much? Making enough money? Spending enough time with your kids? Signing them up for enough extracurricular activities? Aren’t there any specific divorce tips for moms you could use to do better?

Are you doing a good enough job?

If you’re like most moms, you’re your own toughest critic. The good news: You’re doing just fine – and even though you’re working your way through a divorce, your kids are going to be okay. Statistically, children of divorce turn out well, and they have the best outcomes when their parents truly care about what’s best for them.

And that’s you. You do care about what’s best for them, and you’re doing the best you possibly can right now. Check out our divorce tips for moms to make sure you’re staying grounded. (Hint: You probably are.)

Divorce Tips for Moms

If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. Check out these five divorce tips for moms to see if you could put any of them to use in your life:

Know that you’re normal.
Don’t be afraid to rely on support.
Create boundaries and stick to them.
Get control over your finances.
Keep moving forward.

Let’s take a closer look at each of these.

#1. Know that you’re normal.

You’re on an emotional roller coaster when you’re going through a divorce – and you’ll have good days and bad days. That’s completely normal. So are all the feelings you experience, ranging from anger to sadness to a sense of hope for the future. While it sounds like a cliché, know that the feelings you’re experiencing now are more than just normal… they’re temporary. This will pass.

#2. Don’t be afraid to rely on support.

We’re hard-wired to talk to other people for support, so don’t be afraid to talk to people in your support network. Family and friends can be great resources during times like these – but if you need to talk to a professional, do it. Talking to a divorce counselor or therapist can be a great way to learn new coping strategies and work through some of the things you’re experiencing right now.

#3. Create boundaries and stick to them.

While you were married to your ex, you had a certain way of dealing with each other, including the ways you communicated about your children. You don’t have to stick to the status quo now – you can do what works best for your own emotional well-being. That means if your ex wants to argue, you can get off the phone; if your ex wants to stop by and visit, you can say no. Creating healthy boundaries is a good way to start moving forward.

#4. Get control over your finances.

Whether you worked during your marriage or you stayed home with your children, you need to get control over your own finances when you divorce. Separate your money and talk to your Stockton divorce attorney about what you can expect as far as paying or receiving spousal support (commonly called alimony). Talk to your attorney about child support, too, because in California, both parents are responsible for providing for their children.

Related: Protecting assets from divorce

#5. Keep moving forward.

It doesn’t always feel like it, but your divorce will eventually be over – and then you’ll be moving forward to a more positive future. There’s no way around it; divorce is a major life change. If you keep moving forward, your kids will learn from your example. They’ll end up being more resilient and able to cope with the challenges that come their way, too. Focus on doing what’s right for you and your children, now and once your divorce is final, and your whole family will emerge from the process just fine.

Do You Need to Talk to a Lawyer About Divorce?

These divorce tips for moms can help you out, but they’re not a substitute for legal advice. If you’re getting divorced, or if you’re still just thinking about it, you may need to talk to an attorney who can preserve your – and your children’s – rights. Call us right away at (209) 546-6870 or get in touch with a Stockton divorce attorney online to schedule a consultation today.

Tag: <span>Support</span>

Preparing for Divorce: 5 Things to Do Before You…

Preparing for Divorce: 5 Things You Need to Do Before You File

#1. Build your support network

#2. Commit to staying civil

#3. Stay focused on your goal

#4. Organize your finances

#5. Be ready to negotiate

Do You Need to Talk to an Attorney About Preparing for Divorce?

Divorce Tips for Moms

Divorce Tips for Moms

#1. Know that you’re normal.

#2. Don’t be afraid to rely on support.

#3. Create boundaries and stick to them.

#4. Get control over your finances.

#5. Keep moving forward.

Do You Need to Talk to a Lawyer About Divorce?