Tag: <span>Holidays</span>

Valentine’s Day After Divorce: 17 Things to Do When…

February 1, 2020June 8, 2020
by Angie

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner – and if this is your first one post-divorce, you don’t have to dread it. Check out this list of 17 fun-and-fabulous things you can do to keep yourself busy, whether you’re flying solo or you’re spending the day with your children.

Valentine’s Day After Divorce: 17 Things to Do When You’re Flying Solo (or With Kids)

Even if you’ve never really been big on Valentine’s Day, it can still be a tough holiday after a divorce. For many people, it’s a reminder that they’re single. Fortunately, there are plenty of things you can do in Stockton (or even at home) to have a fabulous day – and here are 17 of our favorite ideas:

Have a dinner date with your single friends
Learn a new recipe
Make crafts with your kids
Spoil someone (preferably yourself and your children)
Have a movie marathon with your kids
Get a massage
Take the kids to the Stockton Skate Park
Go to the Haggin Museum
Head to the Micke Grove Zoo
Hang out at Oak Grove Regional Park
Visit the Children’s Museum of Stockton
Stroll the Joan Darrah Promenade
Enjoy the World Peace Rose Garden at University Park
Visit the Stockton Cambodian Buddhist Temple (Wat Dhammararam)
Take your pups to the Barkleyville Dog Park
Curl up with your favorite book
Give yourself a self-guided walking tour of Stockton

Here are more details on each so you can plan your day.

#1. Have a dinner date with your single friends

If you’ve got single friends who are flying solo, have them over – you don’t have to stay home alone if you don’t want to. Have everyone bring a dish to pass so you don’t have to plan a big to-do.

#2. Learn a new recipe

Even if you’re not having anyone over, head to the supermarket and pick up all the ingredients for a new recipe you’ve been meaning to try. And if you’re not much of a cook, that’s okay – roll the dice and pick an online recipe that looks like something you’d enjoy and give it a shot.

#3. Make crafts with your kids

If you’ll have your children on your first Valentine’s day after divorce, create your own special traditions. You can draw, cut, paste and paint your way to a fun day of crafting. (And you don’t have to have your children to do this, either. Pick up a canvas and some paint, a skein of yarn or any other crafting materials that you enjoy working with and start crafting!)

#4. Spoil someone (preferably yourself and your children)

Take the kids out for a special dinner and a movie. You all deserve it!

#5. Have a movie marathon with your kids

Turn on Disney+ or Netflix and let the movie marathon commence. (Our suggestion: Watch all the Avengers movies in order – but be prepared to carry your marathon over into the weekend.)

#6. Get a massage

Treat yourself to a relaxing massage or spa treatment for Valentine’s Day after divorce. It’s a great way to recharge.

#7. Take the kids to the Stockton Skate Park

The Stockton Skate Park is open from sunrise to sunset and features a moon, small bowl, offset steps, rail, half-pipe, EMB, star, fun box, block and piano. Bring helmets and pads for a whole day of outdoor family fun.

#8. Go to the Haggin Museum

The Haggin Museum is a great place to view some of Stockton’s fabulous – but little-known – history and serious collections of art by renowned artists such as Pierre-Auguste Renoir, Jean Beraud, Rosa Bonheur and more.

#9. Head to the Micke Grove Zoo

The Micke Grove Zoo, a charming 5-acre park housing reptiles, birds, mammals such as marmoset, lemur, bobcats and snow leopards, the Southern pudu and more, is a great place to spend an afternoon. They’re open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Valentine’s Day.

#10. Hang out at Oak Grove Regional Park

Oak Grove Regional Park is home to beautiful nature trails, the Oak Grove Nature Center and Oak Grove Lake, and plenty of playgrounds. There’s even an 18-hole disc golf course if you play, and pets are welcome.

#11. Visit the Children’s Museum of Stockton

The Children’s Museum of Stockton is a hands-on discovery center that’s open from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Valentine’s Day. There are more than 40 exhibits to enjoy, and there’s a toddler area, an outdoor playground and patio, and a spectacular reptile display.

#12. Stroll the Joan Darrah Promenade

Take a walk by the water (or ride your bike) at the Joan Darrah Promenade. You can get your steps in and enjoy views across the Delta, or watch the sun set from beneath the palms – and you’re moments from other great places to visit, like the Bob Hope Theatre and the Children’s Museum of Stockton.

#13. Enjoy the World Peace Rose Garden at University Park

The beautiful World Peace Rose Garden at University Park is home to more than 250 fragrant roses all year. You can write your own “Message of Peace” or read others created by local students and residents.

#14. Visit the Stockton Cambodian Buddhist Temple (Wat Dhammararam)

Wat Dhammararam is a beautiful, tranquil place filled with oversized sculptures (more than 90 of them, in fact) that celebrate the life and story of the Cambodian Buddha. You can download the visitor’s guide here.

#15. Take your pups to the Barkleyville Dog Park

The Barkleyville Dog Park is a great place for pups of all sizes. There are three separate areas – one for small dogs (under 20 pounds), one for larger dogs (over 20 pounds) and a separate play and agility course. There are benches for pet parents and always-full dog water fountains, and they’re open from an hour before sunrise to an hour after sunset.

#16. Curl up with your favorite book

If a book is more your speed than a movie marathon or a visit to a Buddhist temple, pick out an old favorite – or visit one of the Stockton Library’s eight branches to pick up something new. (There are eight San Joaquin County libraries, too.)

#17. Give yourself a self-guided walking tour of Stockton

If you’ve never taken a self-guided art and history tour of Stockton, Valentine’s Day is a great time. You’ll see everything from the old Emergency Hospital on North San Joaquin Street to the historic B&M Building on Bridge Place. Get a map and all the details here.

Are You Contemplating Divorce?

If you’re considering divorce, whether you’re still living with your spouse or you’re living apart, we can help you. Call us at (209) 546-6246 to set up a consultation so you can learn about your options – and get answers to all your questions – today.

Divorce

Thanksgiving for Divorced Parents

November 6, 2019August 13, 2020
by Angie

Thanksgiving is right around the corner – and if you’re going through a divorce, or if you’re recently divorced and this is your first Thanksgiving day without your spouse (and possibly without your kids), here’s what you can do to get through it.

Thanksgiving for Divorced Parents

For most people, Thanksgiving is a family-centered holiday. That means during or after divorce, you have some coping to do – it’s going to be different this year than it has been in years past. Unfortunately, while only time can really make it easier, there are a few things you can do to cope with the new reality of the holiday season.

Thanksgiving for Divorced Parents: Dealing With Nostalgia

If you’re like many people, particularly those who are spending their first after-divorce Thanksgiving without a spouse and children, you’ll experience nostalgia – and that’s fine. However, be careful not to put all your focus on the way things were before; now is the time to make new traditions. Consider spending Thanksgiving with your own family or friends or doing some volunteer work. You might think about delivering bags of food and necessities to homeless people downtown, or maybe you’ll offer your services to a soup kitchen or other charity.

Thanksgiving for Divorced Parents: Dealing With Your Ex

Perhaps you and your spouse have a flexible child custody agreement that allows you to share time with the kids on Thanksgiving, or maybe one of you will have them on the “big day” and the other will have them the following day. Sometimes parents agree to swap out holidays, where one parent has the children on even-numbered years and the other has them on odd-numbered years. No matter what your arrangement looks like, you still have to remember that you and your kids’ other parent are still parenting together – and you’ll want to avoid bad-mouthing your ex or talking about whether you agree with the arrangement in front of your children.

Thanksgiving for Divorced Parents: Dealing With Your Kids’ Feelings

Your children might be upset about your divorce, and the holidays can make those feelings more intense. In some cases, kids aren’t happy about having to spend Thanksgiving with one parent while leaving the other behind – they may feel like you’ll be all alone. You should acknowledge your kids’ feelings; don’t minimize them. The key here is making your children feel like you understand where they’re coming from… but without getting caught in the trap of bad-mouthing your custody arrangement or their other parent.

Thanksgiving for Divorced Parents: Creating New Traditions

Thanksgiving is all about gratitude, which can be tough during or just after a divorce. However, you’re modeling for your children, which means you should still try to find things to be grateful for. Maybe you’re grateful for your close relationships with your children, your supportive relationships with friends and family, or your health. When you highlight genuine gratitude for your kids, you’re showing them positive coping strategies (and you’re giving yourself a reality check).

If you have your children this year – or even if you don’t – now is a great time to start your own traditions. (Check out these ideas!)

Thanksgiving for Divorced Parents: Taking Care of Yourself

Take care of yourself. You’ll likely have other holidays without your children, which means you can start planning ahead for how you’ll spend that time. Maybe you want to relax on your own, binge-watching your favorite shows or a movie series (The Avengers series will take all day!), or perhaps you’d rather spend time with your friends by hosting a “Friendsgiving” dinner in your home.

We know the holidays can be stressful – especially if you’re in the middle of a divorce or you’ve just received your divorce decree. By using these coping tips, though, you can make it a little easier on yourself and your children, and you’ll be better prepared for next year.

Do You Need to Talk to a Stockton Divorce Lawyer?

If you’re ending your marriage and need to talk to a divorce lawyer in Stockton, we can help. Call us at (209) 546-6870 to tell us what’s going on. We’ll evaluate your case and start building a strategy that gets you – and your family – the best possible outcome.

family-law

Halloween During Divorce: How to Help Your Kids

October 6, 2019July 6, 2020
by Angie

If you’re like most parents, the only thing you want for your kids is their happiness – and when the holidays start to roll around, you worry a little bit (or a lot) more. The holiday season is right around the corner, and if you’re going through a divorce, or if you’ve just received your divorce decree and this is your first Halloween flying solo, here’s how you and your ex can help the kids have a great holiday.

Halloween During Divorce: How to Help Your Kids Have a Great Holiday

While you may not be great at co-parenting just yet, holidays like Halloween are definitely times to practice your skills. Even if you’re not actively co-parenting, it’s pretty likely that you and your ex have worked out an arrangement on who gets the kids on which holidays.

Whether or not Halloween is your turn, you can still be supportive of your kids – and of their relationship with their other parent.

Planning ahead is the key. That way, even though your kids’ situations have changed due to the split, they can still enjoy the festivities.

Use these tips to make sure this Halloween is a good one for your children:

Be prepared to cooperate with your ex.
Make a plan.
Figure out which parent has the responsibility of getting together costumes, even if it’s not the parent who’s taking the kids trick-or-treating.
Set ground rules for your kids that you will both enforce.
Start thinking about next year.

Let’s take a closer look at each of these.

#1. Be prepared to cooperate with your ex.

As always, your kids come first. During the holidays, while it’s tough to face the prospect of spending time without your children (and letting your ex have all the fun), it’s important that you do what’s fair to them.

Be ready to cooperate with your ex, whether you have Halloween outlined in your custody agreement or not. If they’re old enough, you can even ask your kids where they’d prefer to be or which parent they’d like to bring trick-or-treating.

#2. Make a plan.

Talk to your ex. Stay calm and rational, and let him or her know what you think the plan should be. If Halloween isn’t addressed in your custody agreement, you can discuss who will have the children that day – and find out whether your ex has any input. For example, if you have the kids on Halloween, maybe you’re willing to let your ex take them trick-or-treating (or vice-versa). If you’re not willing to, that’s okay, too; however, that could mean your ex will reserve future holidays that aren’t in your parenting time agreement for him- or herself, too.

#3. Figure out which parent has the responsibility of getting together costumes, even if it’s not the parent who’s taking the kids trick-or-treating.

If you have the kids most of the time, it might be more practical for you to put together costumes. You can offer – or ask your ex – to pay for the supplies, or you can take full responsibility. It’s between you and your ex, but remember that this is a great opportunity for you two to work together to co-parent your children.

#4. Set ground rules for your kids that you will both enforce.

When the kids are old enough to trick-or-treat on their own, make sure you discuss the rules with your ex. It doesn’t matter if you’ll have the children on Halloween or your ex will – what matters is that you both agree to the rules you’re going to put in place for your kids, and that you’ll both be willing to enforce them. (That includes enforcing penalties for violations, such as when your kids come back too late and get grounded.)

#5. Start thinking about next year.

If you have the kids on Halloween this year, offer to let your ex have them next year – or ask if you can have them next year if he or she has them this year. These small trade-offs can make a lot of headway when it comes to cooperative parenting, and really, that’s what’s best for your children.

Are You Considering Divorce?

If you’re thinking about divorce, or if your spouse has already filed, we may be able to help you.

Call us right away at (209) 546-6870 or get in touch with a Stockton divorce attorney online to schedule a consultation today.

Child Custody

How to Set Up a Holiday Visitation Schedule for…

October 23, 2018January 17, 2019
by Angie

If you’re like many parents going through divorce, your primary concern is your kids – and now that the holidays are right around the corner, you’re thinking about how to put together a holiday visitation schedule for joint custody. The good news is that your Stockton divorce attorney will help you come up with a parenting time schedule that works for your whole family, and if you have questions or need help, she’s just a phone call away.

But how should you structure your holiday visitation schedule for joint custody? Many parents use these strategies.

How to Set Up a Holiday Visitation Schedule for Joint Custody

In many divorce cases, parents set up a holiday visitation schedule to work within their original joint custody agreement. There are several ways to do it, and the only “right” way is the way that works best for your family. Talk to your attorney about these ideas if they’d work for you and your children:

Alternating holidays every other year
Assigning holidays to each parent
Scheduling holidays twice
Splitting holidays in half

Alternating Holidays Every Other Year

Alternating holidays every other year is one of the most common arrangements parents make. That means one parent gets every other holiday during even years, and the other parent gets those holidays during odd years. Here’s an example.

Even Years

During even years, Parent 1 gets:

Memorial Day
Labor Day
Veterans Day
Christmas

During even years, Parent 2 gets:

Easter
Independence Day
Columbus Day
Thanksgiving
New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day

Odd Years

During odd years, Parent 1 gets:

Easter
Independence Day
Columbus Day
Thanksgiving
New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day

During odd years, Parent 2 gets:

Memorial Day
Labor Day
Veterans Day
Christmas

You can alternate your child’s birthday, too, and make concessions for each parent to spend time with him or her on the parent’s birthday, as well.

Assigning Holidays to Each Parent

Some parents are better able to deal with assigned holidays. Sometimes this is helpful when the kids only have one set of grandparents, when travel around certain holidays is tough, or when one parent typically has to work over certain holidays and doesn’t get any time off. You might structure your holiday visitation schedule like this.

Parent 1 always has:

Memorial Day
Labor Day
Columbus Day
Christmas

Parent 2 always has:

Easter
Independence Day
Thanksgiving
Veterans Day
New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day

Scheduling Holidays Twice

Some families find that it’s easier to celebrate big holidays, like Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas, by scheduling them twice. The kids will get two of each (more gifts and more pie, right?!) so that each parent can spend that special time with the kids every year. Perhaps Parent 1 celebrates Christmas on December 20 with the kids, while the other celebrates it on December 25.

Splitting Holidays in Half

Many parents share big holidays. Parent 1 gets the kids the evening before and the morning of the holiday, and Parent 2 gets the kids in the afternoon of the holiday and keeps them through the evening. You can split some holidays and not others, or you can split them all – whatever works best for your children.

Do You Need to Talk to a Stockton Divorce Lawyer About a Holiday Visitation Schedule for Joint Custody?

If you’re thinking about divorce, of if your ex has already filed, we can help you.

Call us at (209) 989-4425 or get in touch with us online to talk to a lawyer who can help today. We’ll help you with every aspect of your divorce, from child custody and child support to alimony and property division. We can also refer you to a divorce therapist who can help you work through the emotions you’re experiencing and begin setting boundaries with your ex.

Divorce

7 Tips for Surviving the Holidays During Divorce

October 1, 2018January 17, 2019
by Angie

The holidays are right around the corner, and if you’re like most people going through divorce, you’re not exactly looking forward to them.

But you can still enjoy this holiday season – and these seven tips can help take away the dread, even if you’re right in the middle of your divorce.

7 Tips for Surviving the Holidays During Divorce

For many people, part of the dread of divorce comes from no longer sharing tradition with a former spouse; for others, it’s just added stress during an already-tough time. No matter which camp you fall into – or if you’re in both, or another entirely – these seven tips for surviving the holidays during divorce can help you through.

1. Make new family traditions.

Everything changes during divorce, whether or not you have children. But if you do have children, it’s important that you try to blend the family traditions of yesteryear in with your new traditions. Even if it’s something small – like watching a special movie on Thanksgiving morning or creating family handprints on Christmas Eve – it’s important to create something that you and your children can share in the coming years.

2. Ditch the guilt.

A lot of parents feel guilty about changing the holidays for the kids – but don’t become one of them. Different isn’t wrong; it’s just different. If your kids see you lamenting what’s changed and not enjoying the holidays, they’ll take that on themselves. However, when they see you embracing the new traditions and enjoying yourself just by being with them, they won’t be able to help enjoying themselves, too.

3. Try to cooperate with your ex.

You and your ex both have the same goal for your children: You want them to enjoy the holidays, the time off school, and time with family and friends. If you can, try to cooperate as much as you can. If you plan on spending time with extended family, make time for both – that way, your kids get to see all the grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and other family members they love, and they’ll get the most from every holiday. Maybe you’ll both spend time with the kids on Christmas, or you’ll alternate holidays; no matter what you decide, it’ll be the right thing as long as you both have your kids’ best interests in mind.

4. Don’t spend the holidays alone.

If you’re the ruminating type (and sometimes even if you’re not), one of the worst things you can do is spend the holidays alone. Don’t avoid your family and friends, especially during your first holidays during or after the divorce. Make plans with people you care about, whether or not you have children. You can invite family, friends and coworkers to your house or find a support group, or even better: You can volunteer at a homeless shelter, bring food to people who need it, or do something else to give back to the community. That way, you won’t be alone with your thoughts – and you’ll do some good for others, too.

5. Embrace what you love about the holidays.

Figure out what puts you in the mood to celebrate – Christmas music, decorating, planning menus – and dive into it with your whole heart. See what else you can do to squeeze all the enjoyment you can out of the holiday season!

7. Take one holiday at a time.

The holidays seem overwhelming in October, but realistically, they’re pretty spread out (other than Christmas and New Year’s Eve). Only think about one holiday at a time, even if it seems like a huge blur. Try not to multi-task; besides, if this is your first or second holiday during or after divorce, you’ll probably want to spread things out to occupy your time.

8. Keep the ghosts of holidays past where they belong: in the past.

Sure, we all reminisce during the holidays – but this year, avoid visiting places where you have holiday memories that involve your ex. Try to avoid getting sucked into your memories of what used to be and start making new memories for your even better future.

Do You Need to Talk to a Stockton Divorce Lawyer?

If you’re contemplating divorce, you’re ready to file, or your ex has already filed, call us at (209) 989-4425 or get in touch with us online to talk to a lawyer who can help today. We’ll help you with every aspect of your divorce, from child custody and child support to alimony and property division.