“My wife cheated on me and I want a divorce.”

It’s something we hear frequently in our law office – and in the vast majority of cases, we can help.

When your spouse cheats on you, it’s an exceptionally painful experience. And it’s hard to think clearly for days, weeks or even months after you discover her infidelity.

But if you’re like many men, deciding to divorce after infidelity is the only option.

When Your Wife Cheats on You and You Want a Divorce

Your first step is to talk to a Stockton divorce attorney. You don’t have to commit to anything, but you do need to learn about your options. Talking to a lawyer doesn’t mean you have to get a divorce; it just lets you get a professional legal opinion on your case. The attorney you talk to will be able to explain what happens next, how the divorce process works and what you should do if you want to protect your assets. She’ll also explain how things like property division and child custody work. Under California law, your divorce can go one of two ways: contested or uncontested. Regardless of whether your divorce is contested or uncontested, you can get a divorce even if your spouse doesn’t want to.

Contested divorce is a divorce in which one spouse doesn’t agree with the terms of the divorce. An uncontested divorce is one in which you both agree to the terms of the divorce.

My Wife Cheated on Me and I Want a Divorce: Does Infidelity Matter?

In the state of California, people get no-fault divorces. That means you don’t have to show the court that your spouse was unfaithful in order for a judge to grant your divorce. California courts aren’t supposed to consider cheating when it comes to granting the divorce. However, the judge may consider your wife’s cheating when it comes to the financial impact it had on you. Judges are also allowed to consider the impact your wife’s cheating had on your children, but it doesn’t happen very often.

Infidelity and Property Division

Although your wife cheated on you, she’s not going to lose out on the property settlement. California is a community property state, which means anything you acquired during your marriage needs to be split fairly. (The things you each brought into your marriage, as well as gifts and inheritances intended for only one of you, are considered separate property and typically belong only to the original owner.) The same is true with division of debts – some are community, and some are separate.

Cheating and Alimony

A lot of men have to deal with a cheating wife who asks for alimony. And while the family court system can’t punish a woman who cheated by denying her alimony – the law only allows the court to consider financial need – the judge in your case can award her less alimony if she’s living with her affair partner. That’s because living with someone else decreases her need for financial support. If your unfaithful wife is living with her affair partner (or anyone else) before your divorce is final, and certainly after your divorce is final, let your attorney know.

Can a Cheating Wife Get Child Custody?

California only bases child custody decisions on what’s best for the kids. Even after your wife cheated on you, the courts won’t necessarily think she’s a bad mom or she’s bad for the kids. The only time that the courts will consider infidelity in custody is when she does something that affects her fitness as a parent, such as engaging in sexual acts around the kids.

If Your Wife Cheated On You and You Want a Divorce…

When your wife cheats on you and you want a divorce, we’re here to help. It’s completely normal to end a relationship after infidelity; in fact, some people say a relationship can never bounce back after cheating.

Call us right now at (209) 989-4425 or get in touch with us online to talk to a Stockton divorce attorney and learn about your options. We’ll help you with every aspect of your divorce, from child custody and child support to alimony and property division. We can even refer you to a local therapist who focuses on divorce and the issues it creates.